crazyness

life is hard no one can ever be perfect except god and if u dont belive in him then idk who u might think is perfect maybe no one is perfect. evreyone has flaws dosent matter who u are. u could be the richest person in the world and u would still have flaws. I have flaws.... some reason i cant get all my feeling out and kinda need a therapist orels i get kinda depressed i talk to my friend but they cant give me addvice and i rather not talk to family that would just be weird for some reason. I have a diary but a diary cant give u addvice its just something u write your feelings in. I havent seen my tharapist in like 3 weeks.
week 1: i was okay a lilttle mad that i couldnt go see my tharapist
week 2: a little depressed not falling asleep crying in a school bathroom during summer school for no reason and writting a lot in my diary
week 3: insainly mad that my thearpist blew me off that day
and than came week 4 were i lost it all of these emotions from past weeks are building up i forced my boy whos a friend to eat an apple and just had a knife next to me and i made him eat the apples he diddnt like. i thought it was hilarious he was about to pee his pants. im afraid if i go another week i'll lose it, and i've been spendning so much time trying to keep it together but i dont think i can im about to snap and that would not be a pretty sight for anyone.
so i guess evreyone has flaws.
x_x love, melissa <3

All the beautiful people

Fuck school....
fuck people....
fuck friends...
fuck preps....
fuck life....
i hate people so much even if there my friends i hate them. i started to talk to my boyfriend and hes doing okay hes uglyer though i was like eww but i liked his attitude and i saw my boyfriend today it was fun then my mom came outside and just sat there playing with her phone. i was like what the fuck go away we dont want you here. imvu is really been fun i have a family on there, those people are nice and even though i somtimes just wanna kill them all i truly do love most of em, ther like family. i hate having summer school im not forced to take it the school wants me to take it for free so yA tax payers have to pay for something i hate. You know what sometimes i whish i could just kill myself, but i dont wanna go to hell i wanna be with god and be happy im heaven not burn in hell all though it sounds pretty fucking awsome i would rather be in heaven with my family. ANd i know that I.T. wont go to heaven he sould go to hell for what hes done. 2 days ago i hade a dream that i killed someone and i felt no guilt what so ever i think it was I.T. i killed no wonder i wasnt guilty there was blood evreywear and somehow when I.T. was dead i stuffed him into my school bag and picked it up and started to bang my backpack on the floor over and over again then i woke up and felt hate fun though my body thats the only thing i can feel now